I knocked off early at least three (others were discarded) for the new novel, and yet none of them convince me at all. The new excuse not to put full effort? Too much work in the office. Not that it's a lie, but it is just another excuse, just a little 'closer to reality with a certain tone of seriousness that often have no excuses.
In fact, the work is only a means of subsistence, writing my business ... what do we do? As expected moments of inspiration I have to work when you can not get the computer to write quietly, taking notes ... I pound notes, but then are not resolved in anything other than a few front page not too convincing. Should I take back a good month just to write, but I can not. Then I should find a job that leaves me free time ... and the time it takes to find it? At the end of another year would pass and the book would still be the front pages. Soon I have two weeks vacation. I could go around doing the sea, but I have a good reason to stay home. Satisfy my instinct and put on slippers provided in to concentrate on this new project. And for a couple of weeks will work well.
And then? Then I will not be finished in two weeks, hopefully by the end of the first week I started and by the end of the second brought down the first ten pages. Certainly one of the hardest parts will be outdated, but I am still far from over. And I have to waste time. I feel like I waste so much time. It happens whenever I have something beautiful in my life and I do not have time to devote to this thing. The last time I felt like I lived in Cinecittà and it was not a book but a person. And the blame was always too much work. It Okay. Now I know I grew up and trim the tempo e la mente per stare insieme alla persone nonostante la stanchezza e il poco tempo. Per la scrittura non sono ancora capace.
Alla fine la scelta è sempre tra l’indigenza creativa e la salute del portafoglio che inaridisce la creatività…
Fino al 31 dicembre andiamo avanti così. Poi si prenderà una decisione.
V.
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